“To succeed you have to believe in something with such passion that it becomes a reality.” — Anita Roddick
This week, I’ve been feeling the presence of one of my least favorite, constant companions… Imposter Syndrome. She showed up uninvited (again), made herself comfortable, and started whispering all her greatest hits: “You’re not qualified enough,” “Everyone’s going to figure out you’re winging it,” and my personal favorite, “Are you sure you should be doing this?”
So let’s talk about her. Maybe if she gets some attention, she’ll go away so I can actually get some work done. 😊
WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME (AND WHY WON’T SHE LEAVE US ALONE?)
Let’s make sure we’re all on the same page here.
Imposter Syndrome—also known as Impostorism—is that persistent feeling that you’re a fraud who’s somehow fooled everyone into thinking you’re competent. It’s the nagging voice that says your accomplishments are due to luck, timing, or people being too nice to tell you the truth. Despite all evidence to the contrary (your actual résumé, your completed projects, the fact that you’re literally keeping multiple humans alive), you’re convinced you’re about to be “found out.”
For those of us managing chronic illness, caregiving responsibilities, or both while trying to maintain careers and personal lives? Imposter Syndrome doesn’t just visit—she practically moves in and redecorates.
Here’s what she brings with her: anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, and a spectacular lack of self-confidence. Fun guest, right?
To be honest, I haven’t had an Imposter Syndrome-free zone since high school. Whenever I’ve stood in front of a group, walked to the edge of my comfort zone, or found myself in any kind of spotlight, there she was. It seemed like everyone around me had their act together, and I was just “faking it.” Any moment, I’d be caught.
Here’s the comforting truth I’ve learned: so many of us feel this way. Even more comforting? Incredibly successful people experience it too—from Maya Angelou to Tom Hanks. If people at that level still question themselves, maybe we’re in pretty good company.
SPECIAL FLAVORS OF IMPOSTER SYNDROME
Let’s be honest for a moment about what makes Imposter Syndrome hit differently when as a woman and…
Managing chronic illness: Nothing says “am I even qualified to be here?” like having to excuse yourself from a meeting for a symptom flare-up or needing to work from home because your body decided today was not the day. When you’re fighting your own body just to show up, it’s easy to feel like you’re not “really” succeeding—you’re just barely holding on.
Caregiving: You’re literally keeping another human (or humans) alive, managing appointments, medications, and emotional support. But do that while also trying to work? Suddenly you feel like you’re doing everything halfway and nothing well enough. The imposter whisper gets loud: “Real professionals don’t have to leave early for pickups” or “You’re not as dedicated as everyone else.”
Returning after time away: Career gaps for health reasons or caregiving can make you feel like you’ve lost your edge, like everyone moved forward while you stood still. Spoiler alert: life experience is also expertise. You’ve learned things about resilience, problem-solving, and grace under pressure that no professional development course could teach.
Dealing with accommodations: If you need flexibility, adjustments, or supports to do your work, Imposter Syndrome loves to whisper that your successes “don’t really count” because you had “help.” (This is nonsense, by the way. Everyone has different needs. You’re not cheating; you’re being smart.)
The truth? You’re not an imposter. You’re someone doing remarkable things while carrying more than most people can imagine.
FIGHTING THE DOUBTS (WHEN YOU HAVE THE ENERGY)
Here are strategies I use to combat Imposter Syndrome when she shows up uninvited:
- Recognize her for what she is: The first step is calling it out. “Oh, hello again, Imposter Syndrome. I see you’re back.” Naming it takes away some of its power. Remember that this is a common phenomenon, not a personal failing. You’re experiencing something that even the most successful people deal with.
- Reframe your thoughts (even slightly): You don’t have to go from “I’m a total fraud” to “I’m amazing!” overnight. Start smaller. Instead of “I got lucky,” try “I prepared and it paid off.” Instead of “Anyone could do this,” try “I have specific skills that make this possible.”When negative self-talk starts, write it down. Seriously. Putting those thoughts on paper often makes them feel less overwhelming and more manageable—sometimes even a bit ridiculous. (Example: “I’ve been doing this job successfully for five years, but sure, I’m probably still faking it.” Reading that back to yourself can be eye-opening.)
- Track your successes (yes, even the tiny ones): Keep a “Ta-Da” journal of your accomplishments, big and small. And I mean small. “Made it through today” absolutely counts, especially on the hard days. “Remembered to take meds on time for a whole week”—that’s a win. “Delivered that project while dealing with a flare-up”—that’s a MAJOR win.On low days, flip back through this journal. You’ll be surprised how much you’ve actually accomplished when you’re in the thick of doubting yourself.
- Accept compliments (without the ‘but’): When someone praises your work, resist the urge to say “Oh, it was nothing” or “I just got lucky.” Try this instead: “Thank you, I worked hard on that” or even just “Thank you, I appreciate that.” Full stop. No qualifiers. It feels awkward at first, but it gets easier. Write down compliments you receive so you can revisit them when the doubts creep in.
- Seek support and mentorship: You don’t have to fight this battle alone. Talk to friends, family, or colleagues about what you’re feeling. Find someone who’s been through similar experiences—another caregiver, someone managing chronic illness in their career, or just someone who gets it. Sometimes the most powerful thing someone can say is “Me too.” Sharing your struggles isn’t weakness; it’s building connection and finding perspective.
- Practice self-compassion (especially when you’re exhausted): Here’s the truth: we’re often our own harshest critics. You would never speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself. So why is it okay to do it to you?Be gentle with yourself. Some days, “good enough” isn’t just good enough—it’s excellent. You’re not failing because you’re not perfect. You’re succeeding because you’re showing up and doing your best with the energy and resources you have right now.
- Remember: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome is an ongoing process. You won’t defeat her once and be done. She’ll probably show up again. But each time, you’ll have more tools, more evidence, and more experience proving her wrong.
THE TRICKY QUESTION: TO SHARE OR NOT TO SHARE?
One thing that intensifies Imposter Syndrome for many of us is the question of disclosure. Do you tell colleagues about your chronic illness? Do you explain why you need flexibility? Do you mention caregiving responsibilities?
There’s no universal right answer, but here’s what I’ve learned:
You don’t owe anyone your medical history or personal details. However, strategic sharing can actually reduce imposter feelings. When people understand context—even just a little—it can transform their perception from “she’s unreliable” to “wow, she manages a lot.”
The key is boundaries. You can say “I have some health considerations that require flexibility” without detailing every symptom. You can mention “I’m a caregiver” without sharing your entire story.
And remember: needing accommodations or flexibility doesn’t make you less professional. It makes you someone who knows what you need to do your best work.
HELPING A FRIEND HAVING DOUBTS
Supporting a friend struggling with Imposter Syndrome can make a huge difference. Here’s how:
- Listen without fixing: Sometimes your friend doesn’t need solutions; she needs someone to say “I hear you, and those feelings are valid.” Be that compassionate, nonjudgmental listener who creates space for her to express what she’s feeling.
- Provide specific, genuine feedback: Instead of generic praise, get specific. “The way you handled that situation showed real leadership” hits differently than “good job.” Remind her of her concrete strengths and contributions.
- Share your own stories: If you’ve experienced Imposter Syndrome (and who hasn’t?), share it. Let her know she’s not alone. Sometimes knowing that someone you respect has felt the same way is the most comforting thing in the world.
- Celebrate her wins: Did she make it through a tough week? Deliver a project while dealing with a flare-up? Handle a caregiving crisis and work deadline simultaneously? That deserves recognition. Help her see what she accomplished.
- Know when to suggest help: If a friend’s self-doubt is becoming overwhelming or interfering with daily life, gently encourage professional support. Therapists and counselors have specific strategies for managing Imposter Syndrome and building confidence.
CONCLUSION: BELIEVING IN OUR OWN SUCCESS
In fighting Imposter Syndrome, self-awareness, affirmation, and self-compassion are our greatest allies. Our achievements are real. Our skills are real. Our worth isn’t diminished because we need accommodations, take breaks, or have hard days.
Here’s something I love to remember: it’s often those who care deeply about their work and are committed to doing well who experience Imposter Syndrome most intensely. It’s a sign that we’re pushing ourselves, growing, and striving for excellence. The fact that we worry about being good enough often means we’re more than good enough.
Remember: You’re managing things that would flatten other people. You’re showing up despite pain, fatigue, worry, and overwhelming responsibility. You’re not an imposter—you’re someone doing extraordinary things while making it look ordinary.
We’ve got this. (And on the days we don’t quite have it? That’s okay too.)
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*What’s your experience with Imposter Syndrome? How do you combat those doubting voices? I’d love to hear your strategies in the comments below.*