“What do you truly want? What does your heart whisper? Are you listening? Is there enough space for you in your own life?” ― Molly Remer, Walking with Persephone
Molly Remer’s thought-provoking quote invites us on a journey of self-discovery, self-listening, and self-care. Sometimes we get so immersed in the demands of daily living that we forget to check in with ourselves and ask: “What do we truly want?”
It’s remarkably easy to lose touch with our inner selves as we navigate external expectations, societal pressures, and the constant noise swirling around us. Sometimes the volume of everything else drowns out the whispers of our hearts. I love this quote because it’s a gentle reminder that we each have an inner voice—our SoulFire—that longs to be heard, acknowledged, and cherished.
WHAT DO WE TRULY WANT?
Here’s where I’ll be honest: Ask me today and I really don’t know. Nothing feels clear right now. And maybe you’re in that same foggy place, where this seemingly basic question feels impossible to answer.
But perhaps that’s exactly why we need to ask it.
This question prompts us to reflect on what truly matters, beyond the surface-level wants and needs that society may have conditioned us to prioritize. It challenges us to dig deeper, past the “shoulds” and into the genuine desires of our hearts.
For those of us managing chronic illness, caregiving responsibilities, or simply trying to keep all the plates spinning? The question might feel almost laughable. “What do I want? I want to make it through today without a crisis. I want eight hours of sleep. I want my body to cooperate for once.”
And you know what? Those are completely valid wants. We don’t always have the luxury of pondering grand life purposes when we’re in survival mode. But here’s what I’m learning: even in the midst of the chaos, those small moments of checking in with ourselves matter.
LISTENING TO OUR INNER VOICE (WHEN WE CAN BARELY HEAR OURSELVES THINK)
Listening to our inner voice means paying attention to our soul’s whispers, even when they seem faint or completely drowned out by everything demanding our attention. The doctor’s appointments, the work deadlines, the family needs, the bills, the worries that wake us at 3 a.m.
But here’s the thing: we deserve to hear our own voices too.
Listening involves creating moments of stillness in our lives where we can tune in and hear what our hearts are actually saying. It means setting aside time—even just five minutes—to reflect, journal, meditate, breathe, or simply be present with ourselves.
The real question becomes: Are we actively engaged in this practice of self-listening, or have we been too preoccupied? (No judgment here—I’m asking myself the same thing.)
For many of us, the answer is complicated. We want to listen, but there’s barely time to think, let alone reflect. Our days are full of keeping others alive, keeping ourselves functioning, keeping the household running, keeping our jobs, keeping it all together.
So how do we make space for ourselves when there’s barely any space to begin with?
WAYS WE CAN PRACTICE SOULFIRE SEEKING (IMPERFECTLY AND TOGETHER)
I’m not an expert at this. I’m right there with you, trying to figure it out. But here are some approaches we can explore together—things that sometimes work for me, and might work for you:
Prioritize “Me Time” (Even Micro-Moments): We hear “self-care” so often it’s almost lost meaning. But let’s be practical: even 10 minutes counts. Maybe it’s our morning coffee before anyone else wakes up. Maybe it’s sitting in the car in the driveway for five extra minutes before going inside. Maybe it’s locking the bathroom door and taking three deep breaths.
Can we dedicate some small portion of our week solely to ourselves? Use this time for whatever nourishes our souls—reading, creating, taking a walk, or simply sitting in blessed silence. It doesn’t have to be Instagram-worthy. It just has to be ours.
Here’s my confession: I’m terrible at moving during the day when I’m working. I’d rather sit and plow through five hours straight and then get to other things. But that doesn’t work well when you’re dealing with chronic inflammation like I am. I have to put my legs up every 2-3 hours for at least 15 minutes, or I’m literally crawling up the stairs at the end of the day in tears.
So I use an app called “Wakeout” that sends me movement reminders with doable 1-minute activities. It actually blocks other apps until I move—no social media, no shopping, no music until I do something! And here’s what I’ve learned: once I take that minute for the app, I typically realize I can stand for a moment to reheat my coffee, grab water, or knock out one quick 5-minute chore around the house.
It’s a reminder that this brain is connected to a body I can’t keep ignoring. Small steps—truly tiny ones—can make a big difference in how we feel at the end of the day. Sometimes “me time” isn’t a luxurious bubble bath; it’s remembering we have bodies that need our attention too.
Journal Our Thoughts (Messy Counts): Writing down what we’re thinking and feeling can help us explore what we actually want underneath all the noise. Our journals don’t need to be profound or poetic. “I’m tired and I want a nap and also maybe a vacation and also to not hurt today” is a completely valid entry.
Here’s the truth: I’m a terrible daily journal writer. The guilt of skipped days piles up until I abandon the whole thing. But I’ve found ways that actually work for me: I keep a planner where I jot down brief, bullet-style plans and accomplishments. For deeper thoughts and reflections, I’ve given myself permission to journal just once a month—on the last day, I recap how it’s been and what I want for the following month. I also keep a birthday journal (one entry per year on my birthday) and a New Year’s Day journal for annual reflections.
The point? There’s no “right” way to do this. Find your own rhythm. Maybe it’s voice memos on your phone during your commute. Maybe it’s texts to yourself. Maybe it’s doodling with a few words scribbled around the edges. Whatever helps us get the thoughts out of our heads and creates space to hear what’s underneath them—that’s the right method for us.
Set Boundaries (And Keep Resetting Them): This is hard. Really hard. Especially when we’re caregivers, when we’re dealing with illness, when people depend on us. But learning to say no—or even “not right now”—helps ensure we haven’t overextended ourselves to the detriment of our own needs.
Here’s something that helps me: for those familiar with spoon theory (the idea that we have limited units of energy each day), I try to remember that anytime anyone asks me for anything—work or otherwise—even if they say it’ll be “real quick,” it will likely cost me about 2 hours of time and a spoon of energy. Since I typically only have about 6 spoons a day, you can see how big an ask it really is. “Real quick” for them can be “real hard” for me.
This perspective helps me be more honest about what I can actually take on. It’s not about being unhelpful—it’s about being realistic about our capacity.
And here’s the truth: we’ll probably mess this up regularly. We’ll say yes when we meant no. We’ll overcommit and then feel resentful. That’s part of the learning process. We can keep trying, keep adjusting, keep reminding ourselves that our needs matter too.
Embrace Change (Even Tiny Shifts): Change can be intimidating, especially when we’re already managing so much uncertainty with health, caregiving, or life circumstances. But sometimes evolving and pursuing what we truly want requires small steps out of our comfort zones.
This doesn’t mean overhauling our entire lives (unless we want to). It might mean trying one new thing. Making one small adjustment. Saying yes to one opportunity that sparks something in us, even if it’s scary.
Take Action (However Small): The most important step is taking some kind of action. It’s one thing to know what we want; it’s another to actively pursue it. But here’s the secret: we can start incredibly small.
Want to reconnect with creativity? Doodle for five minutes. Want to strengthen a friendship? Send one text. Want to explore a new interest? Watch one video about it. The day something first occurs to us, we can take one tiny step. That counts. That matters.
Give Ourselves Permission to Not Know: Sometimes the most honest answer to “What do you truly want?” is “I don’t know yet, and that’s okay.” We’re allowed to be in the questioning phase. We’re allowed to be figuring it out. We’re allowed to want different things on different days depending on our energy, our health, our circumstances.
Our SoulFire doesn’t always burn with clarity—sometimes it’s just a small flicker we’re trying to keep alive. And that’s enough for now.
CREATING SPACE FOR OURSELVES IN OUR OWN LIVES
The final question in Remer’s quote might be the most important: Is there enough space for you in your own life?
For many of us, the honest answer is no. Or not enough. Or “I’m not sure anymore.”
We’ve become supporting characters in our own stories, making sure everyone else is okay, managing crises, meeting demands, showing up for others. And somewhere in all of that, we forgot to show up for ourselves.
Creating space means recognizing that our needs and desires are just as important as everyone else’s. Not more important, but not less important either. Equal. Valid. Worthy of attention and care.
This doesn’t mean being selfish. It means understanding that we can’t pour from an empty cup (yes, that’s a cliché, but it’s a cliché because it’s true). It means recognizing that caring for ourselves isn’t indulgent—it’s necessary.
CONCLUSION: A LIFE ALIGNED (OR AT LEAST MOVING IN THAT DIRECTION)
So, let’s sit with these questions together: What do we truly want? What do our hearts whisper? Are we listening? Is there enough space for us in our own lives?
We might not have clear answers right now. We might be too tired, too overwhelmed, too focused on just getting through the day. And that’s okay. These questions aren’t meant to add pressure—they’re meant to invite us back to ourselves, gently, whenever we’re ready.
Our hearts hold some answers, and the journey to uncovering them is a beautiful, messy, imperfect, transformative process. We don’t have to do it perfectly. We don’t have to do it all at once. We just have to start listening, even in small moments, even in whispers.
Let’s embrace this journey together with open hearts, self-compassion, and the understanding that finding our SoulFire—and making space for it—is a lifelong practice, not a destination.
We’re all figuring this out as we go. And maybe that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
What does your heart whisper to you? Have you created space to listen lately? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let’s support each other in this journey.